Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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