we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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