she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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