yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
