Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
