Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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