I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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