We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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