nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
