oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The Olympian is in my bed
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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