Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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