around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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