I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
