can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
