someone owes me an orgasm
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
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He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
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I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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