You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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