3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
