Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize