Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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