she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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