i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
