He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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