Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize