he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do herpes really smell.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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