If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize