Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
