plz talk dirty to me
how can u be prego again
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
