I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
