he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Will exercising make me less horny?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
