Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
