I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
