What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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