am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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