So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
