I can tuck mytits in my pants
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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