problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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