their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
