he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
