Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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