as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
They are going to name an STD after you.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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