had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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