Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize