are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
