I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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