remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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