I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
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If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
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Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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