9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
