I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
