Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
