I need help removing her.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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