Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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