So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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